Answer These 9 Simple Questions
Are you a woman or a man?
Who ended the relationship?
First, tell me who ended the relationship.This isn't about blame here, rather letting me gain an understanding for the situation. Be honest with yourself and what happened.
I broke up with himher
HeShe broke up with me
The breakup was mutual
Why did you end the relationship?
I cheated on himher
HeShe cheated on me
Financial Problems
I didn't think heshe loved me anymore
I didn't trust himher
Incompatible Life Goals (i.e. heshe wanted kids but you didn't)
We didn't communicate
All we did was fight
How did you feel afterwards?
I was energized and excited. It was something new and made me feel desired again.
Guilty. I immediately regretted cheating on my partner.
Confused. I felt both happy and guilty. I loved being desired, but I hate that I cheated on my partner.
Can you forgive himher?
Yes. Mistakes happen and I know heshe loves me.
No. Cheating is a deal breaker for me
I don't know. I am hurt, but my partner seems hurt as well. HeShe deeply regrets cheating but I don't know if I can forgive himher because I'm scared it will happen again.
How Many Times Have You Broken Up in the Past?
Once or twice
We are constantly breaking up and getting back together
Is Your Ex Angry or Apathetic Towards You?
How your ex is acting towards you right now will tell me a lot. It comes down to 2 main options. Is your ex angry at you, meaning they are showing ANY emotion about the situation (this includes saying mean things, contacting you to get a rise out of you, reacting emotionally when you try to speak/contact them) OR Are they apathetic, meaning they do not care on way or the other, they simply ignore you and don't care.
Tell me more about the emotions your ex is expressing
HeShe says heshe is upset but continues to contact me
HeShe told me heshe never wants to see me again
HeShe says I hurt himher too much
HeShe says heshe thinks about me but can't bring himselfherself to forgive me
Tell me more about your exes apathetic behavior
HeShe doesn't respond to any of my messages
HisHer friends have told me to leave himher alone
HeShe says heshe doesn't care about me anymore
Does Your Ex Have a New Partner?
Yes, and it's killing me
Yes, but I think it's a rebound
Yes, but I don't care, I want himher back
HeShe is casually dating a few people
No, heshe is still single
I don't know
What Do Your Mutual Friends Think of the Breakup?
They are sad to see we have separated
They are happy, they thought we were toxic for each other
I don't know, they haven't told me their feelings
How Do You Feel About the Idea of Dating Someone New?
I'm scared, I don't want to get hurt again.
HeShe was "the one" and I am not interested in anyone else.
I could be with someone else.
Imagine that it's two years from now, and you and your ex are back together. What is your immediate emotional reaction?
Happiness. I am confident that a second try will work out.
Worry. I think we will still be having the same problems
Confused. I don't know what that makes me feel.
Scared. What if nothing has changed and we're still unhappy?

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